So there I was today up on the WTAMu campus talking with my friend Wayne when this absolutely gorgeous woman walks by. I was struck by her fiery red hair in coordination with her beautiful dress. I'm no fashion expert, so I'm afraid I could not do their combination justice. And as this woman came near me I realized "holy crap...I know this woman!"
It was none other than my old friend Leslie who was a fellow english major (who was supposed to be in Maryland). She was already late somewhere so I didn't press her for an explanation, but the moment has had a strong effect on me all day.
Granted I am a single guy, but it was not a romantic attraction I felt. I just thought she was beautiful. It's hard nowadays to simply tell somebody that their appearance lightens your heart and in a completely platonic way. But it happens and she did. Even now I smile as I think of that image in my head. Truly we are strange creatures.
The power of memories never ceases to amaze me. They can be crippling or they can be saviours to a dire environment. In the book Man's Search for Meaning Viktor Frankl speaks of how when he was in Auschwitz that it was the image of his wife that gave meaning to his suffering...that helped him through the travesties that surrounded him. He later reflected that that was how God became concrete in his own humble life.
I try very hard in my own life not to allow good memories to bring me down. It is easy to turn our memories into a microcosm of history: to falsely create some golden age when everything seemed so much better than they are now. It's easy to allow our minds and hearts to live in the past (or even the future in local modern society). God certainly knows how often I have done that to run away from a Truth ( or even the shadow of a truth) I could not face.
I try to teach myself to not curse my fond memories, but rather be grateful to God for blessing me with them. But it's hard. Gratitude is something that comes easily to the lips, but it is hard to practice and to practice meaningfully. It's much easier to lament the loss of a loved one than fondly remember a love of life and carry that on in your own heart. I think we must reach a certain spiritual maturity before we are able to do that.
peace be with you,
Edward Smith
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